Today I’m helping spread the word about Sarah Von Bargen’s Post College Survival Kit — something I definitely could’ve used a few years ago! You don’t have to wait ’til your thirties for a better job, a cuter apartment, financial stability, or better relationships + friendships.
I’m 25 now, which I guess is technically only a hop and a skip away from 22, when I graduated college, but for anyone in the same boat, I think we can agree that college and life thereafter can nearly be equated to two separate worlds entirely. A month after graduation, I jetted off to teach English in Japan, where I stayed for over two years. As if post-grad life wasn’t awkward and confusing enough, I had the pleasure of doing it in a foreign country. Awkward points x 20, y’all.
But since then, I’ve learned a thing or thirty about navigating the open waters of The Real World, and I’m here to tell you that it ain’t so bad. Today, I’ve got three tips for newbie grads (or anyone, really!) that I wish I knew at 22.
1. Can’t find a job you love? Create it.
Like I mentioned, after graduation, I went to Japan to work as an English Teacher. During my time there, I held three different teaching positions, none of which I loved, one of which I really, really didn’t love. Given the language barrier, it was hard to find any other job I could do there. It would be cute to say that I started my blog knowing it would one day pay my rent, but really I just started it for fun and the earning money part came later, unexpectedly. Now I earn money from a variety of sources — my blog, graphic design, selling prints, etc — all of which I created myself. Sound hard? It’s not. It takes a crapload of work and dedication, but if you’d be working somewhere else anyways, why not put that hard work into building something that you actually kinda love? I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s not as impossible as it may seem. Channel your skills and passions into something that can benefit other people and then market the crap out of them to the 9 zillion people who use the internet. You’ve already got the power and know-how, promise.
2. People can suck. You don’t have to.
Perhaps the most surprising discovery I made after college was that not everyone was going to be my BFF. In college, I had a big group of friends; it was easy to find people I clicked with. After graduation, things started to feel more complicated: from an alcoholic neighbor who left a knife in my mailbox to co-workers who only ever brought me down, I felt a little lost in the friendship department. At a particular low, just a few months after graduation, I reached out to a friend for advice. One thing he said to me, (in all caps, because he’s an all caps kind of guy), was to “BE THE POSITIVE.” The Real World can be great once you’ve found Your Happy Place, but until then, radiate what you want to get back from the people you meet. You may not change your grumpy boss, but at least you’ll go home feeling full instead of sad and jaded.
3. The best opportunities can often be found alone.
After graduating college, it can be easy to want to grab on to the nearest person and cling for dear life. “The ship is sinking, find someone to keep you afloat!” Instead, I’ve discovered more opportunities just by being alone — not necessarily in the relationship sense, but in every sense. It might be a little scary at first, but don’t underestimate what you might find or who you might meet, just by spending some time with yourself. Go places alone, do things along, and get comfortable with that person in the mirror — they may turn out to be your new best bud.
What would you tell your younger self?
photo via leanne surfleet
Great post, and great advice! I’m 26, and experiencing the same post-graduation obstacles. I think these three tips are fantastic, and I especially love number one. Glad to know that other people have had similar experiences with life after college. 🙂
x
Bobbi
http://www.productdoll.com
Glad you enjoyed it, Bobbi. 🙂 Best of luck to you!
i would have told myself to persevere longer and appreciate the little things in life
Sounds like great advice for anyone, Zaby! 🙂
These are all true and I would definitely tell myself the third one. When I finally gained the courage to go out there on my own I discovered a whole new world of people and places. I travelled to South America alone and it was one of the best experiences and taught me so much about myself and who I wanted to be
I agree! I think traveling alone is such a great experience.
I’d tell myself this: it will all be ok in the end and if it’s not ok it’s not the end.
So true! 🙂
Id def tell myself #1! I remembered being so stressed out about not being able to find a job that I enjoyed until one day I stumbled upon creating my own! Best decision ever!
Heck yeah!! 🙂
These are the things I needed to “read”. Thanks. =)
Glad to hear that. 🙂
I love this post Melyssa, especially number 2! I would tell my younger self to follow my heart + gut as much as humanly possible, even when others disagree. Life is full of distractions but when you follow your intuition, things have a way of working out in the best way.
I completely agree, Stephanie. I love intuition!
love this post! I think I’d tell myself that it’s ok not to have it all figured out just yet.
I totally agree with that!!
Amen to number 2.
http://www.iolablog.com/
Hi Melyssa, I just graduated college in June and I’m applying to go teach English abroad as well! I loved these tips, they’re really relatable!
That’s awesome! Best of luck to you with teaching abroad, Jasmine. Glad you liked these tips, too. 🙂
Was just thinking last night how much I’ve changed from 22 to 24 (almost 25). TRANSFORMATIVE years. These are big time lessons! Agree on all fronts. Great post!
Thank you Erika! And I totally agree — 22 to 24 are hugely transformative years!
Love #3 – such great advice, and so hard to do sometimes!
Claire xx
I agree! Glad you liked that one, Claire. 🙂
These are literally the exact 3 things I’ve been telling myself lately, focusing strongly on the first one. As scary as it is, if you’re not happy doing a “regular” job, you can’t just settle! I strongly believe in being scared over unhappy. 🙂
We must be on the same wavelength. 🙂 And I love that last line of your comment! SUCH a good practice to follow.
Love this post. Definitely what I needed. I’m an introvert and I believe ALL these things! But I sometimes I question if it’s normal. But you’ve inspired me to keep going. Pinned by the way <3
Find me at doitfortheirony.blogspot.com <3
Aw you are too sweet! I’m glad we’re on the same page. 🙂
I absolutely agree. Even though it’s only been about a year and half since I graduated from college, it feels like a whole different world! I thought I needed to get ANY job I could and just try and settle. However, now I’ve learned that it’s worth holding out- I’m now working my dream job in a brand new city by myself and couldn’t be happier.
That is so rad, Destiny! I’m glad you found your dream job, what an accomplishment. 🙂
Really loved this post. I really like the last one about finding opportunities alone. It’s so important to build the life you want and don’t conform to anyone else’s ideas of what it should be. I am a big believer in lifestyle design and creating your own opportunities, including job, is part of that.
http://sambellcreative.com/blog
Thanks so much Sam! I’m glad you can relate. 🙂
Wow, much, much needed post!! I am going to graduate next year, and I have no clue what I want to do then. I have so many options open, it’s good and bad — and scary! I loved reading your advice as I think about grad school, getting a job, or traveling (or any combination of those). I loved what you said about creating a job and being the positive one. Awesome advice especially since I just talked forever to my mom about all this type of stuff!
I’m so glad you could relate to this Gina! I already know you’ll be the positive one in The Real World — you totally already are. 🙂
This is awesome. I’m done with my undergrad in the fall and I’m totally in the “howwillimakefriendshowwillipayrentomgomg” phase so this made me feel a lot better. I’m completely stoked but you know it’s a big real world to navigate. I feel like the second point has been really prominent in my life lately. There really are some just plain mean people in the world and it surprises me consistently. It’ll be good for me to remember that I can put out a good vibe and maybe get a good vibe back. Thanks for this!
http://saltlicklessons.com/
Thanks for sharing that, Brittan! I was surprised by consistently mean people, too, so I know what you mean! Just keep spreading that good — you totally already are! 🙂
Lovely advice, Mel! I appreciate it especially since I’m starting UNI this fall. I guess what I’d say to my younger self is to devote more time to practice rather than soaking up information about graphic design. I feel like I wasted too much time doing close to nothing practice wise and I could have been much better now than I am.
Very interesting, Jovana! Thanks for sharing. 🙂 I bet with all the studying you did, you’ll sky rocket your skills once you start practicing. Best of luck to you!
Amazing advice! I cannot agree more with number two. People can really suck sometimes, but be positive. Be the change you want to see.
Couldn’t agree more, Ashley! 🙂
These are so wonderful and true. I especially love #2. The further I get out of college the more I realize that not everyone grows out of certain more childish college character traits, and that they can hurt even more out of college than in it. However, I’ve found so much freedom in learning to respond with grace to these people and then move on with my life (preferably without them.) I think one thing I would tell my childhood self is that life does get seemingly more complicated after college and it does get harder to find those perfect friends. However, that doesn’t mean I should hang on for dear life to a poisonous relationship because “it might be the only friend I have locally for a long time.” That’s silly and not true; and even if it is true you will feel SO much better without the poison in your life. You’ll also have a greater sense of self worth, which does attract people to you.
If I could just throw my hands up in an “AMEN!” right now, I would! When I lived in Japan, especially, I found myself making friends with other local Americans, just because they were nearby, but often they brought me down or just weren’t right for me. It took awhile to realize I was happier alone, building myself into a confident, happy person, than I was with them. Thanks for that reminder, Stacia! 🙂
I love all of these. I just turned 24 and have been out of school for a year, but I’m still adjusting. A few months ago I ended a 5-year relationship and moved into an apartment with NO roommates for the first time. Breakup sorrows aside, it’s been a really fantastic experience so far. I feel like I’m really opening up to who I am (and as a fellow INFJ, I love living alone!).
I’m having trouble with #1, though. I’m currently stuck in a desk job that has a nice steady paycheck and comforting health insurance, but it makes me feel empty and dull every day. On the weekends I’ve been working for a shop at the local Renaissance Faire, and while sales/retail isn’t my calling either, being in that environment with that community makes me feel so alive. I have a few offers to travel the Faire circuit doing odd jobs and helping out a few of these small businesses, and I’m extremely tempted.
I just get stuck on having so many interests but not really knowing what my skills/strengths are. I would LOVE to create a job the way you have, but I’m overwhelmed with interests and underwhelmed by my perceived lack of marketable skills. Do you have any advice? 🙂
I love me a fellow INFJ! 🙂 And I completely agree about loving living alone, by the way. 🙂
I definitely think I was in a similar position as you 2-3 years ago working as a preschool/after school teacher. The job really drained me and it was probably the most stressed and under-appreciated I’ve felt at any job. I knew I wanted out, but like you, I had no idea what my real “skills” were. In my case, I made a blog for fun — it was an idea I’d had for awhile and something that I devoted hours to after coming home from the job I didn’t like, which took my mind off of things. I know this is crappy advice, but from there, things just evolved to where they are now. I think the biggest piece of that, though, is that I took risks and tried new things. I followed my intuition a lot (as an INFJ, I’m sure you feel that, too!). I’d say that there could be something meaningful in the Renaissance Faire job you mentioned. It might not seem like a full time gig or your “calling” just yet, but I think taking those risks and just going toward the things you enjoy will eventually lead you where you need to end up. Hopefully that makes sense and doesn’t sound too foofy. I really believe in that! 🙂
Love all of these tips! Thanks so much for sharing. xo
Thanks for reading, Rachael! 🙂
Love number three-scarier but better!
Totally agree, jana! 🙂
Fantastic advice. I think the other thing to remember is that if you have to do another job while you’re building something for yourself, don’t let yourself be defined by that job. Just take it for what it is.
You are SO right! I agree. 🙂
This is so relatable! I’m struggling with #1 right now, with 4 years of post-university work experience. Something I find helpful is just taking action. Going to a class, meeting up with someone you heard is interested in similar things etc.
I couldn’t agree more, Janelle. I find that often taking action is the hardest, but best thing you can do.
Im just about to start my final year at uni and Im slightly dreading leaving and have no idea what Im going to do after graduating! These are some good tips, I’ll have to remember them!
Emma x
Writing Essays With Wine
I totally know that feeling. You’ll rock it, I’m sure. 🙂
This is exactly what I needed right about now!! I just recently graduated in May and still unemployed (started blogging for the meantime – because I’ve always love reading blogs). All my friends are employed and have already started their post college life, and I’m still trying to figure things out feeling completely lost and helpless. This post really gives me some perspective and optimism for the future!! You’re blog is amazing, keep doing what you’re doing!
I’m glad this resonated with you, Jessica. It took me three years to find a job I loved after college, but now I’m happier than most of my friends who work elsewhere! You may not be the first to find a job, but I’m confident you’ll end up with something you love.
And thank you for your support! 🙂
Really great tips. Even cor someone who has been out of college for over 10 years.
Glad to hear that 🙂
I’m just graduating from high school next year, but I’m still super glad I got to read this already! Amazing post of which I learnt a lot. I like the idea that if you’re going to work really hard anyway, you might as well work hard on what you love!
evelinkivi.blogspot.com
I’m glad you enjoyed this, Evelin! Good luck in your last year of high school! 🙂
I’ll be getting in to my first semester in college next month. From the time I graduated High School, I keep thinking to myself, “what am I going to do after I get my Bachelor’s?” I’m still confused and haven’t found my actual desire yet. I came across your post, and I find it very useful. You’re right, I need to stay positive, and find some time for myself to actually getting to know me better..
xo
http://www.colorsinmybubble.blogspot.com
Glad you got some positives out of this article. 🙂 Good luck to you, Chrisylla!
I think spending time alone is so, so important. I just posted today about how hard it can be to make friends after college, but I’m hoping to use the alone time productively. Thanks for this post!
Theresa
http://www.underhonesttrees.com
Thanks for stopping by, Theresa! And I agree on both of those things — spending time alone and making an effort to forge friendships after college…they’re both so important!
This is so me. I’m struggling because I’m 22, I graduated in May, and I feel like a failure for not having found a job yet and not having every aspect of my future planned out. Sometimes I still get really down on myself for not having it all figured out, but I suppose I’ll get there in time. I would love to have my blog take off and sell prints and start my own business, so I’ve been putting a lot of extra effort into that recently. I guess we’ll see how it goes!
http://www.mascarawarrior.com
Hi Em! I totallyyyy know that feeling! Now that I’m 25, I can tell you that you have a LOT of time. I still get down on myself for feeling like I should be doing more and more or that I need to have IT ALL FIGURED OUT (yesterday), but I’m realizing that it’s not necessary and that if you chase what you love, things always find their way. 🙂
Also, you’re blog looks GREAT! Useful content, images optimized for Pinterest, easy to navigate? You’re a rockstar already, girl!
Thanks Mel! You are too sweet. And I’m sure we’ll both have it all figured out someday 🙂