As someone who works with bloggers on a daily basis, I’ve come to recognize some of the main concerns and fears of The Ladies of Blogland. One of those being, should you share your personal life on your blog? I’ve had nervous clients ask me in nearly hushed tones, how much is too much? Where should I draw the line? In my case, I do share my personal life, but certainly not all of it. I may not dish out the most nitty gritty details, but I think the readers who check in with my blog everyday have a pretty good picture of who I am, where I live, and what I do. I like the feeling of being “understood” by the people who frequent my site and I’ve found that when I get personal on occasion, it’s easier for people to connect with me.
On the other hand, I know there are bloggers who might cringe at the lack of privacy. I also know there are others who waver between wanting to keep their blog strictly professional and yearning to add pieces of themselves within their usual content.
Blogging is interesting, because it’s journalism at a microscopic level. We have a self-imposed duty to share relevant, useful information, but since we’re often one-woman (or man!) shows, the things we share come from our own perspectives and experiences. This is often what draws people to blogging — it’s personal and therefore easier to relate to. Where do you draw the line? Do you?
I’m curious and would love to hear your thoughts and experience!
Do you share your personal life on your blog?
If so, why? Do you have any concerns with it? If not, why not? Is it about privacy? Wanting to keep your blog more professional? Something else? Let’s chat!
photo via steven leonti
Mine is much more on the personal side but that is because it is a personal blog, not related to any sort of brand or business. I think you maintain a good balance as yours started personal and has evolved into your other business ventures.
I am still trying to find the balance. Lattes and Love was extremely personal and that was great on one hand, but on the other, I’m kind of changing it up a bit with Call it Adventure, and trying to strike the balance is the hard part. But I agree, blogs are by their very nature more personal and that’s what draws people to them.
I share pieces of my personal life, things that I want to remember or things that are very important to me that I feel I want my readers to know about, but my Twitter is actually a lot more about my personal stuff than my blog is. I want to keep my blog light and relevant to the reader as much as I can, because I have other outlets to vent personal things, or because I need to be less in my head about personal stuff anyway, as someone who is anxiety prone. I would hope the part that makes my blog personal is that I write in my own voice, the way I would speak, and this keeps things feeling special and genuine between myself and my readers 🙂 T xx
My blog is a personal blog so I tend to share quite a lot about my personal life. I like it that way as I want my readers to get a real sense of who I am. Equally, I am drawn to the more personal blogs where people are happy to share things about themselves. Obvioulsy, there is a line and I don’t go sharing super personal information. x
“the things we share come from our own perspectives and experiences.”
THIS! I think that even if we don’t share private things, blogs are inherently personal and are thus 100% informed by how we think and who we are even if we don’t overtly share the depths of ourselves. I think the trick – which I haven’t yet mastered – is owning that while still only sharing the details you’re comfortable having the wider public know. At the same time, though, you also have to figure out how to share YOUR personal without sharing the personal of those close to you, because they might not be comfortable having their personal shared. (Did that make sense?)
This comment rings true for me, Betsy! I’ve totally struggled with sharing my personal, while not sharing the “personal” of others over the years. There have been so many times I wanted to share more of my personal experiences (in writing about my struggles with body image, depression), but couldn’t do so without sharing personal details from my marriage or my family that may have cast others in an unfair or unwanted light.
It’s hard to know where that line is, but so important to respect it! If someone finds an easy formula for determining when to share or when not to share…do tell. 😉
I definitely agree with you ladies here. I do share personal thing on my blog but I’ve been working on drawing the line where it involves other people or putting anything about my life in a negative way. I mean, I do keep it real in that life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine but at the same time I like to keep my blog as a happy, positive, and motivating place to be.
This is something I’ve been noticing a lot on blogs lately. I like to share a bit of personal information, like you said it gives people a sense of who I am and where I am in the world. I also enjoy knowing this kind of stuff about other bloggers, but I draw a line on certain details, like details about my family or my relationship with my partner.
I share some of my personal stuff on my blog, but since it’s focused more on giving practical advice I try to keep it less focused on myself and more on information that can be beneficial to others as well. 🙂
This line really jumped out to me: “We have a self-imposed duty to share relevant, useful information, but since we’re often one-woman (or man!) shows, the things we share come from our own perspectives and experiences.”
And it’s a great reminder to me that we all have different motivations for blogging, even if those motivations can seem universal on the surface. Because to be honest, I don’t really have a self-imposed duty to share relevant or useful information… but that could be because what I am seeking to receive and give from blogging is different than what you, and maybe even most people are looking for. And I think that shapes content more than anything.
I don’t disagree that there is a certain mixture of personal/useful that translates into more conventional success for bloggers. I do think that the “usefulness” perspective makes a blogger needed or of service to the reader. And for many people, that works and that can be an excellent strategy in terms of getting people to return and care enough to spend money and support a blogger’s creative endeavors. I think the way blogging is seen at the moment — professionally, anyway — is as a marketing tool. But there are those of us that don’t necessarily see it that way. Because there are so many more reasons to blog and for some people, those things are of higher priority than “relevant” or “useful” information.
As for me, I’m pretty personal on my blog without giving away specific details. But I would say that that’s my own personal self-imposed duty. I share not necessarily to make money or even grow my audience. I share for a sense of personal community, a place to get my ideas out, and a place to better understand myself. Being relevant and useful is secondary for me. And perhaps that translates into less “success” in terms of audience reach, sponsorship opportunities, etc, but it can also mean more success in terms of genuine relationships, connections, and my overall personal goals.
I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive. In fact, I think for some bloggers, they could look quite the same from the surface. But I think if you’re talking about internal motivations for bloggers, those are definitely different. Not all bloggers are in it for the same reasons. And that’s fine, but I guess there tends to be one sort of voice that rings louder than others, forgetting that blogging was not necessarily a tool that was first used for marketing purposes but more for personal sharing. I think that the reason the personal stays because the personal is more intrinsic to what it’s always been (and also, it works!). But it’s easy to forget that the more professional bits have not always been a part of how people define blogging. Or why people do it.
I know this is a super long comment but I want to say this because I think you’ll appreciate this Melyssa — it kind of reminds me of the Enneagram. If you look at each type, they all have a basic motivation and a basic fear. Some types need to be needed, need prestige, need security, need stimulation. I think that those are pretty reflective of people’s internal motivations for sharing personal information when they blog. And for me: I blog to find my place in the world, to have some sense of grounding. The other stuff is all bonus. It’d be nice, but it’s not what drives me.
What would you say drives your blogging?
Thanks for this thought-provoking post. 🙂
love the bit about “a place to better understand myself.” I share some things about my feelings on my marriage and our situation that I know Jon wouldn’t share if it were just him, but he’s come to understand that my blog and the community I’ve found in my blog serves as a safe space for introspection even though it is public and that sharing some of these things helps me process them. (We had a big conversation last night about this because of the post I’m publishing tomorrow!)
There are definitely things I would not share on my blog! It’s not a diary in my eyes. However, like you said it’s so much easier for people to connect when you share a bit of your personal life. It’s easier for them to relate to your stories and even your tips when you give your experience as an example, etc. I know that the blogs I prefer are the blogs where I feel I could be ‘friends’ with the blogger – but I do cringe when I see things that are a bit too personal because it’s certainly not why I read blogs.
My blog isn’t a diary. I’m not going to spill my innermost thoughts (or even most of my thoughts). However, I think there needs to be a nice balance between sharing and privacy. I connect more with bloggers share some aspects of their lives – its why I read blogs. Otherwise, I’d be better off reading a magazine. x
I try to just share the basics–what I’m up to + how I’m feeling. I don’t mention any friends by name + my boyfriend is only known by H. I do not show his picture on the blog. What I share about myself just depends on my own discernment. How it could turn bad (could someone find me from this piece of information?), how it reflects on me, etc. But I’m a big believer that other people should never been shown on a blog without their explicit consent.
I don’t over share my life, but I do share bits and pieces. There’s no harm in that 🙂
My line is quite simple: Would I want my Mom reading this? If not, off in my diary it goes. If I don’t mind, then it can go on the blog. Since I’m evolving all the time, I feel like that should be reflected in my blog. But my blog is a “personal” blog anyway, so I suppose that makes sense 😉
I do share a lot of it. I feel like I have to. I also don’t share a lot of it. There is a lot my readers don’t know about me too. Being that I have a husband in the Military, I do have to be careful about sharing certain parts of my life. I also assume that anyone can read it so I won’t vent about someone or anything like that.
My blog does not have a huge audience, and because of this, my blog is a more intimate space for me than say if I were writing for the school newspaper. Probably 90% of my posts are about my personal life, but not about things such as drama, because that is completely irrelevant to most readers and they probably couldn’t follow it either. Lately, I’ve been posting about cafes, shopping hauls, restaurants, books, and whenever a special event happens, I post about that too, which would be the most personal I get.However, I have noticed that my more popular posts are ones about pop culture or student life, but these also have a personal aspect in that I enjoy going to the movies, hunting for GIFs, getting emotionally wrecked by fictional characters, and I’m a student who likes keeping organized and gathers tips from here and there that I like to share. My favorite blogs are ones that give helpful tips (i.e. what to do/eat/wear, where to go, etc.) but are able to weave in personal details.Right now I’m trying to include more content that might be relevant to readers. I’m a teenager, and, like many other people, am suffering from an existential crisis, so I start off my week with Monday Musings, in which I post a question, offer my input, and invite my followers to share their own answer to that question, whether or not my own thoughts/answers ring true to them. Sometimes I share my goals (personal and blog-related) on my blog too, because it feels like more of a commitment and motivates me to strive and achieve. – http://brunchataudreys.tumblr.com
Oh, and I also like personal blogs, because it reminds you that the blogger behind the blog is a real person. At least for me, it’s so easy to forget that bloggers are human beings like you and me, because through their blog, life just seems so glamorous! But we also need to remember that what bloggers share on their blog is just a snippet of their life. (This is also super relevant pertaining YouTubers, especially vloggers)
i think i do share my personal stuff, sometimes i think too much
I’m still figuring out how much of my personal life I want to share. I thought I wanted to keep it to a minimum, but I’ve been adding in more about myself after realizing that all of my favorite blogs have a personal touch, and I’m creating a safe place to share. 🙂 When I do go personal I make sure to keep it positive – a general rule I’m trying hard to stick with on my blog. I draw the line at posting recognizable photos of me, my husband, our home and our city. I don’t mention where we live, only what part of CA we live in, and I don’t mention friends by name. But maybe one day I will. I’d love to share more of my pups, but they are so distinctive looking, and as silly as it sounds, right now sharing pictures of them crosses my line of privacy and comfort – but never say never!
I’ve always been a very private and somewhat introverted person at times. People who know me think it’s so strange and contradictory that someone like that would want to write a public blog. I really love blogging though. I find a nice balance by not showing a lot of me (I’m anti narcissist so I prefer not to post daily selfies anyway), and I have a line drawn in the proverbial sand where I cease to share details about my personal life.
Some people say you can’t be a successful blogger without divulging load of personal info and lots of detailed photos of yourself.
I couldn’t disagree more. I think there are lots of ways to find ‘success’ in blogging.
Interesting topic!
x
V
I struggle because I want my blog to remain professional and yet I want to share who I am and what’s going on in my life with my readers so that they might actually want to hire me to work with them. I find that it’s easier to make that jump if you actually connect with the person behind the business. So it’s a struggle for me. Some days I feel like sharing a lot, while other days I just want my content to speak to my business. I’m not sure. What made you decide to share more of your life than less of it? (I don’t expect to find out the nitty gritty details of bloggers I follow, but I find you to be one of the more open bloggers that I follow. I at least feel like I know who you are when I come to your space versus hoping I know who you are, if that makes any sense…) 🙂
That’s the hardest thing. Sometimes it’s like ‘do I really want people to know how much I spend on clothes, food, and how much sleep I get’ or the good ol’ what if your co-workers find your blog and see how much non sense you post online’ I have come to the conclusion to post things that I would not be too embarrassed about if someone would ask me about it in person. It’s also a privacy issue if you share your favorite coffee shop and some stranger starts stalking you…I am trying to find the perfect middle ground without sounding too blog-fully-cold to readers.
xo Cassandre
I think I’m right there with you, Cassandre! Trying to find a good balance between, “would I be embarrassed if all my friends read this?” and “is my safety at risk?” Thanks for sharing!
My clients ask me this a lot as well and usually their blogs tie in with their businesses so mostly, it’s a no. My blog isn’t personal at all because I never intended it to be. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with personal blogs but I just feel like my life is boring and I’d rather blog about things that inspire me. 🙂
I love this conversational post! I recently wrote a post on my own blog on why I don’t get too detailed about my own life – I want my blog to be a place of inspirational, thought-provoking, or otherwise useful writing. Even if it’s just creative writing. Part of that means pieces of myself and my life, but only if they’re relevant and I can make a point from them. I think where I draw the line is with like “this is what I did this weekend and here are pictures of it” I guess what I’m trying to do is draw a line between my personal diary/facebook and my blog.
I’ve had a lot of emails and contact from other bloggers who are just starting out, who were worrying about the same thing. I guess it all depends on what sort of blogger you are. But, personally, I love a little personal touches to the blogs I read, whether their lifestyle, photography or even design blogs. I like to see their faces, get to know them, even their stories of struggles, it’s a way for them to seem more real… it creates a relationship between the reader and blogger, I think.
Some of my most popular blog posts have been my personal ones. I think it’s for those same reasons I listed above — those post allow my readers to connect with me.
I struggled over the years trying to define that line — what’s too much and what’s too little. I think I have perfected it for me — I keep things personable, whether it’s through my blog posts, my bio page or the connect with my readers through emails and twitter messages. I like that connection. However, I don’t share photos of my family or details on where I live, it’s those little things… you got to have some sort of privacy, you know.
This is such a relevant topic for us! I draw the line when things become stalker-ish. If a as in, when total strangers know my boyfriend and family’s names…too much. My boyfriend is Boyfriend on the blog, and I’ll never reveal the names of my closest family, either. It’s like a little security that gives me peace of mind while still being able to share photos and stories and musings. Having that little tidbit of personal secret keeps things mysterious and safe, so I like that.
My motto? If it helps or inspires my reader in one way or another, it’ll be shared. And hopefully re-shared after that!
lovelovelove,
Erica
cominguprosestheblog.com
I share some personal stuff but not enough to get me in trouble with anyone 😉
haha true that! 😉
I share my life on my blog and social media. I share as much as I want to but that certainly doesnt mean everything. if you google “jenn shurkus” there is no where for me to hide. partly because i own shurkus.com and have been blogging on there since 2005. before facebook was huge and before instagram. I like sharing my life- I enjoy people feeling connected to me. almost anyone can create a cute card, or an artsy project but i believe people come to read my blog because they relate to me, or feel they know me. I also find people are more apt to try a class with me after “getting to know me” on my blog 🙂
blogs are about the person behind the information too (to a certain extent.) you are not a newspaper and that is what makes it personal and fun and the reason I may choose one blog over another.
The blogs I connect with and enjoy most are the ones where I feel I know the person writing. I like to read about peoples lives, even if they are total strangers (which they usually are!) It has amazed me since starting a blog how many people seem to want to know about my life as well. It is cooool. Blog people are nice.
Kirsten | kirstenlearns.com
I sometimes enjoy reading people’s personal life stories, but I don’t think it’s the kind of journalism I’m interested in sharing on my blog. I have had such a hard time setting a brand and being too open with my readers that it’s nerve wrecking. I also have a very distinct writing style, news-like, straight and to the point. Although I do share deep stuff in my Girl Talk column once a month, that’s all the brain energy I can put into it! Thanks Melyssa 🙂
I actually LOVE reading about people’s lives and their stories. I guess that’s why I also try to add some of my own stories to the blog posts.
I also understand that there should always be a limit (based on the writer, of course), but I enjoy reading about people’s lives, and I enjoy writing about my self (narcissistic much?).
In a way, we all love talking about ourselves, and the blog is ours to vent in a way or another.
I love reading the posts you have with personal stories. Those are some of my favorites!! <3
I guess in most ways I prefer to be private. I never put my family or my own images online and I really do not talk about feelings and all of that, but I do talk about where I live, what I do, etc 🙂 I think you have to establish your own personal rules with yourself before you start blogging.
I totally agree with that last sentence, Noor! It’s all about establishing what makes YOU feel comfortable. 🙂
I do blog about my personal life, like, stories and most of all my own thoughts about my perspective.
I was just talking to someone about sharing my personal life on my blog. I told my friend that I do share parts of my personal life but do draw a line when it becomes a matter of privacy. I do ask my family and friends if I could share certain things about my life and I am a pretty reasonable person in that regards. I do leave certain things to the imagination. I started blogging a decade ago and when I first started blogging–I made it a point to blog about my own life and leave out anything I do not want to share with the world offline.
I suppose it’s personal preference but to me I enjoy sharing parts of my life that I hope others will find joy and happiness in. Besides that I do love sharing and spreading the good news and happy stories.
I like to share my personal life on my blog. I’ve never really thought about if I share too much or too little, but I like to make sure that I share parts of my life, because I’ve always found that the bloggers I’m most drawn to in lifestyle, fashion or writing blogs (the three main categories that I follow) are people who share parts of their personal life. I also think it’s good to have limits, though, and that each blogger needs to decide what their limits are and stick to that.
I tend to blog about my personal life but I’m always wary about sharing too much and it falling into the wrong hands. Great post – such an interesting topic to read.
Elise | She and Bean
Great topic + timely too! There is such a delicate balance when you’re a blogger on what is considered too much to share. My sanity check on what I share is whether I’m helping/adding value to my readers by sharing my story. I can’t help feeling incredibly vulnerable sharing information about my personal life but feel it’s important to share so you can connect with and relate to other people which is really at the heart of what blogging is about.
AMEN to that! Couldn’t agree more, Rachel.
My blog is mainly personal, so yes I definitely share my personal life. I don’t really talk about my husband too much and I’m definitely moving away from personal and more into just lifestyle/beauty in general. I just can’t write some of my posts without getting personal.
Yes I do but not all of it. Nothing personal if it involves other people (ie: bad fight with boyfriend, etc) but I like to share what’s going on with me.
I do share my personal life on my blog, without divulging too many details. But now I am rethinking it as I am entering the classroom again as a two-year-old Preschool teacher and I worry what parents might think. I don’t have anything to hide per se, but I never know what parents might come up with to worry over.
I do share my personal life on my blog, but not every last detail. It’s usually just all the fun times, life moments and what I’ve been up to. I’m sure no one wants to read about my mundane daily life where I work full time in an office etc! I love blogs with a personal touch though, it helps me to connect so much more with the blogger 🙂
Lyndsay | Fizzy Peaches
I share a lot of personal stuff on my blog(s), but that’s what they’re about. I’ve always wanted a place to share my story and I hope that it’s one others can relate to and be inspired by. It really depends on what your blog’s focus is.
I only share certain aspects of my life on my blog, for instance what I’ve been up to on holiday or days out. I think the most personal things I share are life lessons that I have learnt over the past year and how these things affect the way I see myself and the world around me. I try not to go into details in case one day someone I know well manages to stumble across my blog and find things they don’t necessarily want to see. Naming names is where I draw the line.
http://www.whatthefudge14.blogspot.co.uk
Lucy x
I think it’s okay to share your personal life, but only to a certain extent. Sharing definitely makes blogs more relatable and appear more like they were written by human beings, not computers. At the same time, you don’t want to make your blog a diary. The key is finding a happy medium.
http://welcometoalysworld.co.nr
I agree sometimes oversharing can be too much but I have found in some cases some of the most powerful blog posts I have read are from those sharing a certain personal thing in their lives such as maybe not know where they are going in their life or their blog or personally for me as someone who suffers from anxiety reading posts on others peoples experiences can be really interesting and pardon the cheesiness but feel “less alone” out there.
I share my personal life because that is my area of expertise and the topic of my blog – parenting adult children with special needs. I’m not a professional, but I have two kids (out of 6) who fall into that category. I want other parents (guardians, caretakers, etc.) to be able to relate to things that happen to us and feel they aren’t alone out there. I also hope to give them ideas from what we’ve tried that they might want to adapt and try in their own situation. I do have limits – when I mention my children by name, I use their middle names, and I don’t stray too far from my topics into PERSONAL-personal land.
I love that, Jyl! Thanks for sharing your experience on this. 🙂
I’ve been wanting to start a blog for awhile, but one thing that has held me back is that the blog I want to start is personal by its nature. I had a difficult relationship with my mother, then went on to have two marriages that failed. I only figured out after my second husband walked out that I made really bad choices in men because of my childhood experiences. I have read extensively since then and learnt a great deal, and I want to share my experience with others, not because I want to hurt anybody, but because my hope is that others can learn from my mistakes, hopefully without having to go through two marriages and a lot of heartbreak first!
But, how do you do it without revealing too much about yourself and your identity? I’ve thought about it quite a bit, and wanted to do it anonymously (under a pseudonym), but with such a personal blog I think it’s important for trust that people can see a photo of you. It’s harder to trust someone if you don’t know what they look like. What are your thoughts? Any suggestions as to how I could handle it?
Wow. This sounds like it is going to be a powerful resource for people out there looking for a healthy relationship. My advice would be to share as much as your comfortable with at first and as your blog grows and develops, you can adapt and either ramp up or town down your vulnerability as you see fit. You are right in that people need to trust and connect with you, especially with such a personal blog, but at the same time you don’t want to feel uncomfortable on your own platform, right?
Best of luck and please keep me posted on your progress!