Nowadays, it seems like our number of “followers” can sometimes be equated to how well-liked we think we are. They are our circle. Our people. Our Tribe.
But what about when someone unfollows you?
Ouch. It’s like a slap in the face. It can sting. And it might sting even more if that person is an actual friend. But unless people are dropping like flies, un-followers aren’t such a bad thing. In fact, I think they are actually a great thing. Ready to answer the question, “why do people unfollow me on Instagram?” Better yet, ready to feel more empowered in your business? If so, you’re in the right place! Here are three reasons why it’s a good thing when someone unfollows you:
1. You’re narrowing your niche.
One of the worst things you can do when trying to grow a successful blog, is to blog for everyone. While you can often get away with blogging about multiple topics, blogging about far too many topics or for too many people doesn’t give your audience anything to grab on to.
Take this example: perhaps you used to post anything and everything on Instagram, from blurry pictures of your kids to a random flower in your garden to an aerial shot of yesterday’s lunch. But recently you decided to kick things up a notch and took a silent oath to only post gorgeous food-related photos. You want to start blogging more about recipes and nutrition, so it made sense to you to have an Instagram that matches.
But crikey! 8 people have unfollowed you ever since you switched your focus! Is it because they don’t like Pad Thai or because…they don’t like you? Actually, it’s probably neither. In fact, you’re just weeding out the people who wouldn’t be interested in your narrowed niche anyways. Thinking about it this way, unfollowers are a great thing. When someone unfollows you on Instagram let’s say, you’re actually filtering out people who are not your ideal customer. Isn’t it better to build a community of people who LOVE what you create? While you may lose a few followers if you’re transitioning your focus, you will gain plenty more in the long run.
Related: What Should You Blog About? A Guide to Narrowing Your Focus
2. You’re allowing engagement to flourish with your other followers.
Nothing says trouble like thousands of followers who completely ignore you. It’s better to have a small, engaged audience, than to have massive amounts of people who skip over all of your blog posts. By having people unfollow you on Instagram, for instance, you’re allowing engagement with your other followers to really thrive. You’re building a community of people who care. And that is certainly more valuable than the opposite.
Related: 5 Ways to Build an Active Community on Your Blog
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3. It doesn’t mean they don’t LIKE you.
It’s easy to think that if someone unfollows you, they dislike you. Actually, our subconscious decisions to unfollow someone are usually more complicated than merely hating someone. And more often than not, someone will unfollow you for other reasons, like that your content doesn’t feel relevant to their lives (hello #1 on this list!) or they’re already subscribed to 900 newsletters and decided to do a strict purge.
A long while ago, I unfollowed a blogger, simply because her posts were no longer relevant to my interests. It wasn’t that I had any animosity toward her or that I disliked her in any way. I just wasn’t interested, plain and simple. Though we’d had little contact up to that point, she somehow discovered that I had unfollowed her and sent me a slightly angry email, wondering why. The email surprised me, because very little emotion had gone into my decision. It wasn’t something I thought about day after day, suppressing thoughts about how much I hated her blog. Nope. It was more like, “oh, this type of content isn’t really something I read much of anymore. I guess I’ll unfollow.”
The point of this story is to remind you that when someone unfollows you — because inevitably they will — to not take it personally or feel badly about it. Usually, unfollowing someone isn’t tied to a strong emotion of dislike or hatred. It’s just a natural part of growing a brand or blog, and often means you’re doing something right.
Of course, having people unfollow you isn’t always a good thing!
If your followers seem to be running far, far away from you or if people that you thought were part of your ideal audience are suddenly clicking the “unfollow” button, then you might have some changes to make. Here are a few reasons why someone might choose to unsubscribe:
- You’re too noisy. It’s good to be social on social media, but if you’re posting constantly, it might be too much for your followers to handle.
- Too much promotion. Whether it be promotion of your own products or sponsored posts for another brand, too much can annoy people.
- Your content isn’t beautiful. This goes primarily for sites like Pinterest and Instagram. If you’re posting ugly, uninspired images, then they might be warding off new followers.
- You’re not relatable. People love to use blogs and social media as a personable look at someone’s life. Even if you use it for business purposes, it’s important not to be robotic.
- You post #allthethings. Going back to #4, it’s great to be relatable on social media. However, if you find yourself posting things just to have new content, then you should reconsider its purpose. Aim to post things that are inspiring and fresh for your audience. So, send that dimly lit picture of your dog to your BFF instead of your Instagram followers. 😉
How do you feel when someone unfollows you on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube?
Related: 11 Surefire Ways to Grow Your Instagram Following
Gosh, this post is awesome! I have the tendency to ge this little hurt or upset feeling when people unfollow, even though I try to tell myself it doesn’t matter. Looking at it with your eyes (you grew apart, nothing more) is so refreshing! Thanks!!
Totally, Miriam. 🙂
Are you reading my mind, Melyssa?! I’ve actually been thinking about the act of unfollowing a lot this week. For awhile, I’ve been feeling super overwhelmed by the sheer volume of noise in my social streams and realized that I was following a ton of people on every. single. network. AND getting their emails. I’d see the same post mentioned 10 times a day and feel like I couldn’t escape it.
…Then I realized: I can choose to follow these people (who are still awesome and great) on ONE network and still get their stuff. Less noise and a happier, less bombarded me. Who I unfollowed had literally nothing to do with the actual person – it had everything to do with me and my mental capacity.
Moral of my long-winded comment: oftentimes, it really has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with THEM. Also important to learn to not take unfollows too personally – in the grand scheme of life it really doesn’t matter.
I do think Melyssa was reading our minds!
Agree!!!!
Couldn’t agree more with ALL of this, Erika! I think it’s kind of fascinating in a way how our decisions to unfollow people usually have VERY little to do with the actual person, like you mentioned, yet we interpret it as a personal thing when someone unfollows us. Love your way of thinking about it! I do the exact same thing in terms of unfollowing people.
Haha I think you are reading our minds, Mel! I used to be a beauty blogger but now am quite the opposite of that and I’ve been unfollowing some old beauty blogging “friends” simply because I just can’t relate anymore. I really do try to streamline the people I follow on various channels. It’s minimalism for social media!
It does sting more when people unfollow me, but if I think about how and when I unfollow people, it’s usually just because it’s off-topic, not anything personal. However, I wish there was a good way of telling people (or being told) when they’re too spammy, because I feel like THAT’s the worst.
Tooootally get it, Jenn! A lot of the people I end up unfollowing are old blogging friends who I’ve grown apart from, mostly because we just blog about different things now. Interesting how that happens! And ha! I wish it was possible to tell someone when they’re being spammy, too. 😉
Such a fresh perspective! I usually feel bad when people unfollow me and focus on wondering why they did instead of being thankful for those that do. Great post!
xo, Liz
http://lipstickandconfetti.com
Glad you enjoyed it, Liz! 🙂
This is a great reminder to keep things in perspective. Wise words and encouragement, lady. 🙂
Thanks Stacia. 🙂
These are really lovely words! Very encouraging! xx
Glad you liked it, Margery! 🙂
I like it when people unfollow. You are right it leaves those who care and make your community better ::)
Definitely! Glad you get it, Erica. 🙂
I really needed to read this post. Thanks for sharing these tips with us 🙂
You’re so welcome, Erica! Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
I was noticing lately that while I’ve been getting new follows, my total count hasn’t been growing, so obviously people have been unfollowing as well. I was thinking before I read this post not to take it personal, especially since there are new followers continually joining, it means something is working for some people. But when your content IS personal, its kinda hard not to think that it means people don’t like you. But not everyone does or should, so its all good.
http://www.everydaystilettos.com
Totally know what you mean! Last month, I kept getting instagram notifications about new followers, but my follower count would stay the same, too. But you’re right! It just means the right people are following you and you just can’t please everyone. Good for you for attracting YOUR people. 🙂
I think it’s interesting that you posted on this! Another reason why I’ve unfollowed people on Instagram or blogs is because of that nasty green monster that I start to feel when I look at their life, the things they’re doing, etc. This definitely doesn’t mean I don’t like the person, in fact it’s the opposite! So just because I unfollow someone who is putting AWESOME content out there, it’s really my “issue,” and not theres.
Ahhhhh Abby, you are so sweet..’the nasty green monster’… I loved your wording! LOL. As a blogger ( I blog at Design The Life You Want To Live ) I try to totally think of that ugly green monster when I write. LOL. I’m so happy that you said it out loud. Life isn’t perfect, so why write it like it is? Big love! Lynne
GREAT point, Abby! Sometimes it can be downright overwhelming when everywhere you look, you see the illusion of perfection. Good for you, too, for unfollowing people when you feel that way. We always have a choice what content we absorb ourselves with, so kudos to you. 🙂
Such great points! I feel like it really depends on the social platform as well. For example on Instagram, I use it mostly to follow people who post inspiring/colorful/pretty images. It’s obviously very visual and I like to use it as a visual inspiration board of sorts. Because of this I’m kind of picky with who I follow and weed out my feed to what I really want to see every so often. I sometimes remind myself that it is MY feed, after all, and I don’t have to see pictures/accounts I don’t want to see. That can include some people I know in real life as aquaintances, but I might not want to follow their visual life on IG because I’m not very close to them. Does that make sense? Haha. OVERALL, losing a few followers here and there is definitely a good thing when you’re honing in on your niche! 🙂
Couldn’t agree more, Kayla! It’s funny to hear about other people’s social media habits, because they are incredibly similar to my own! I do pretty much ALL of the above, too.
Great post Melyssa! I agree with you on everything! I recently deleted ALL of my social media and started fresh. That meant deleting photos of my kids, a bunch of Starbucks photos and of course, food. My niche is design and bright and bold colors. Plus, I didn’t want to put my children on the net anymore without their consent. I thought it was invading and so very unsafe. Another good reason was to rid of all the spam accounts following me. I used to care all the time when someone unfollowed. But I kept rebranding and changing my style while still using the same account(s).
This post is perfect!
So glad you get it! I love that you started fresh with social media, too. That sounds so freeing. 🙂
This is a good reminder not to take it all too seriously. Bloglovin stats are not the same as Friends on Facebook. If someone unfollows it’s not likely to be because they don’t like you. It is hard sometimes (especially for someone like me with only a handful of followers anyway) but having people follow you who are really interested is waaaaay more important that people who just clicked like on your blog but then don’t engage.
Could not agree more, Amy! 🙂
Agreed! Plus, sometimes I choose to follow a blogger on another social media platform like Twitter or Instagram instead to avoid my already full inbox.
So true, Jennifer! Great point.
Such a great post! I’ve always viewed losing followers as a bad thing and have never thought about it this way
Glad it got you thinking in a new way, Diane! 🙂
Thank you for this post, Melyssa! It can be a little discouraging, especially when you’re a new-ish blogger and you know exactly how many followers you have at a time. Sometimes I find myself un-following someone but later finding them again and liking what they’re putting out there so I follow them again. I suppose losing a follower doesn’t mean they’ll be gone forever!
Catherine // The Blissful Mind
Great point, Catherine! I have definitely “refollowed” people over time. I guess I see it as each of us is on a path and sometimes our paths diverge, but eventually we may come back together. It’s just a natural part of the process, but doesn’t mean I’m doing something “wrong.” 🙂
Really great post! I’d rather have 30 followers that love my content and engage with it, rather than 100 followers who think my content is just ok. Quality over quantity!
– Lauren Schroer // http://www.laurenschroer.com
So, so agree, Lauren!
Great post! 🙂 It’s not always fun losing followers, but it’s good to have a more dedicated and smaller following. Also, the new design is looking amazingt!! 😀
Glad you enjoyed it, Esther! I totally agree. 🙂 And soso glad you like the new design!! 😀
I am sticking to your upbeat 3 reasons which make me feel way better than someone hates me, which is where we all go isn’t it
☁☁☁☁it’s Easy Make With thenectarcollective < i started working online, completing some basic jobs that only requires from you a computer and internet access and I am happier than ever… It's been 6 months since i started this and i got paid so far total of 36,000 bucks… Basicly i profit close to 80 bucks/h and work for 3-4 hrs most of the days.Best part to whole this thing is that you can decide when to work yourself and for how long and you get a paycheck
at the end of each week. Here’s A More Detail
It really is Linda! Glad you enjoyed these. 🙂
I really appreciate this list of what to do and what not to do. I’am a wardrobe stylist/advisor who is currently building my name/brand and I was thinking how can I showcase my talent with out coming off so robotic! The first thought that came to mind was “be relatable”! So reading what you wrote about being relatable and focusing your core followers let me know that I’am on the correct track. Thank you!
Sounds like you’re definitely on the perfect track, Enyè! Being real and relatable does wonders for connecting with people and building a brand online. 🙂
Ahhh, i have just lost two followers on my blog and i was about to cry (jk) then i came across this post and felt like energized again :)) such a cute one <3
cuteiinstgram.blogspot.com
Glad it helped! 🙂
This makes total sense. I’ve stopped unfollowing a couple this week, actually because of too many promotions. 2 giveaways a day for the last 2 weeks and only 2 book reviews, which is what I want to read. I’ve been working to define my niche, so I expect to lose followers if I drop crafting completely.
Sounds like you know what you’re doing, Elizabeth. 🙂 And too many promotions is never a good thing! >_<
I used to feel a bit deflated when I lost followers, I don’t mind so much now 🙂 I know that I unfollow blogs I don’t read often enough to unclutter my bloglovin haha so how can I really blame others for doing the same? 🙂 and you’re right, it makes it more about those who stay – the few who regularly read and comment are people I consider my friends now which is the most important thing 🙂
I absolutely agree, Amber! Glad you see it that way, too. 🙂
I always think it’s important to keep quality over quantity in your mind 🙂 such a great post, needs to be shared!! Em xx
http://edoublemamurray.blogspot.com.au/
Thank you Emma! So glad you enjoyed this. 🙂
My twitter following has been swinging one way than another, it’s like it can’t decide which direction it wants to move! It’s great to read this though for the days it’s been going down… 🙂
Aww I’m glad to hear that this helped! Once you find your sweet spot, it will go up, up, up! 🙂
On a house with balloons
I notice it most on Instagram and my newsletter because those are things I am trying to grow and do well. It is hard not to take every unfollow personally! I have to remind myself that I unfollow people too and I would rather have followers who want to engage not feel obligated to continue following me out of fear of hurting my feelings.
I’ve also noticed that lately a lot of shops and people will follow me on instagram hoping for a follow back and when that doesn’t happen (or when it does) they unfollow. I feel like every night I fluctuate followers down 5 up 6… anyways. those numbers I really cannot let get to me because they don’t really count!
I totally get that — it’s tough. I get unfollowers pretty much every day. Whenever I send out a newsletter, usually about 10 people will end up unsubscribing. I think I’ve learned that unfollowers are just part of running a blog and business. There is literally nothing you could send to your email list or post on Instagram that is going to be exactly what every follower wants to see. But it’s all good, because for the people who stick around? They’re going to love you even more! 🙂
You’re so right!
Elizabeth, I get so irritated with the “I follow you, you follow me, now I unfollow you” game. I have found that most of those people are just spammers just looking for follows. It’s sad because I would rather have 10 loyal followers who tweet and/or retweet my content than 100K followers who are all spammers!
I know! I so agree Cassie! I just try not to look at the number all the time because I don’t want spammy people who unfollow me to get me down! haha
So much YES to this post! I really needed to hear it and I doubt I’m the only one. Thank you for puttin’ it all out there, Melyssa!
Hannah | The Outfit Repeater
Thank you Hannah. 🙂 I’m glad you liked this. I always find that if I’m ever thinking something, then others are, too. 🙂
I loved reading this. A great reminder since it seems like people think you are only successful if you have a huge following … And that applies to real life too! You know the people that have 100 friends that wouldn’t actually have your back if it came to it versus a handful that is basically your family!? 🙂
Thank you for sharing this thought, Melyssa!
I totally get that, Maike. 🙂 Great connection!
A blogging friend shared your post with me today when I expressed my concern about losing/gaining Twitter followers – I knew it was silly, but I would see numbers go down and feel bad. I would question why they didn’t like me and what I was doing wrong. This offered a helpful fresh perspective on this : )
I’m glad you found this helpful, Lindsay! So glad you’re seeing it in a new perspective 🙂 welcome to TNC! 🙂
Each time I send the e-mail newsletters I have 1 or 2 unsibscribers. I absolutely agree it is a good thing as I am just make sure that 1) I do not push with anything 2) I do not send too much messages Basically I send my message to my auditory once a week. When somebody unfollows me it just means that those person is not my auditory and it is absolutely normal, I can’t be perfect for everybody on my list 🙂 Thanks for this post. I think should share it.
I definitely agree, Anna! Great attitude 🙂 glad you enjoyed this post!
This is such a fantastic post, Thank you for sharing! We at http://thewellnesssoldier.com recently posted a post to intsagram and we lost 2 or 3 followers. I was hard not to wonder why or to take it as we did something wrong! So this post has crossed our paths at the right time! I especially like your point of having a smaller audience that engages than mass followers that do not!
Yes! It can totally be a bit unsettling at first but it certainly is a good thing.
Thank you! This post made me feel a whole lot better on a frustrating day! Excellent tips to remember.
Great post! I feel like a lot of people like initially to see if you’ll follow them back and if you don’t they unfollow. So it’s true that you can’t get down about it!
Amen! 🙂
Happened to me once. Girl followed me, I didn’t have interest of following back, and all of a sudden my follower amount went from 6 to 5. (I am not popular :P)
Right now, it only bothers me if I get unfollowed by someone I felt close with, engaged in a number of conversations, and followed them back. Since I don’t have a social life in the real world (for a number of reasons) I’ve been seeing followers like these as an equivalent to acquaintenances (I don’t say friends since I still realize that we don’t know each other that well).
That being said, whenever people like these unfollow me, I feel upset but it’s more towards myself than them. I keep thinking to myself what I did wrong to make them not like me anymore & I blame myself for screwing up and losing that connection. I know it sounds sad and pathetic, but I can’t get over feeling like that
I know how you feel, and I’m so glad this post helped 🙂
Today I found out one of my high school classmates (not very close though) unfollowed my Instagram. He used to follow me and I followed back, but he never social with me on Instagram, I did though. I unfollowed him. 🙂
Sometimes that can be beneficial! Thanks for commenting, Mike 🙂
I’m glad to have read your article. Today I realized that I was unfollowed by one of my oldest friends and it hurt my feelings terribly. I googled articles about how to come to terms with it and came across yours. It’s great to read a positive perspective, and it makes me realize that she was always very judgmental, and I was always worried abut offending her, having her snotty judgmental voice hanging over my head whenever I was about to hit “commit” on any of my posts. The odd thing being that she posted some of the same types of things that I posted and had a double standard.
Anyway, your article gave me a much better perspective on the whole situation. Thank you for posting it!
I’m so glad you found this post helpful! Thank you very much for letting me know about your newfound confidence and growth 🙂
Hewro! I stumbled upon your article after seeing one of my followers on Wattpad unfollow me. I actually got pretty mad until I remember that earlier today I had unfollowed her. So I was looking up reasons because I know many people that are all “Don’t follow to unfollow”. But the truth was, I had no hate against the person. She was really nice but I got disappointed after I saw her reading inappropriate content and I didn’t want to be following someone like that. After I unfollowed, she unfollowed me right back even though she was the first one to follow me. This article helped me know I’m not being stupid with unfollowing. 🙂 Thanks!
I’m so glad you found this post helpful, Laura 🙂 Best of luck with everything and I hope you have a great and productive rest of your day!
Same, same. I just checked out my wattpad account earlier, and I actually know EVERY single of my followers secretly, because I list their names or message them. Pfft, that really irritated me.
I made it clear on my Profile bio that I don’t do follow for follow but geez, I guess some people don’t bother reading at all. Numbers are what only revolve in their heads.
But yes, I kind agree with this article. I followers that love my content, not for numbers.
I feel like a minority in why I’ve unfollowed 99.999% of my facebook friends — the reason being to keep my newsfeed empty save for super close family/friends, yet still maintain the connections I’ve made and use the Messenger app to chat.
That’s a great way to stay in touch with the people you care about the most! Thanks for sharing that, Chris 🙂
This is a very good point, and a great article! When I read it, I imagined a funnel of followers, going through a filter, and dropping those that are unlikely to engage with your content. Leaving a smaller amount, but of more purity. Just like making a coffee! I love this!
I love the coffee example you came up with! Thanks for your comment 🙂
Aha thank you! As a graphic designer I try to visualise something! I think I see a quick infographic coming from this quote 😉 keep up the good work!
But it is better when somebody follows you. People often use special services to find “useful” followers. You can check out zen-promo com if you need an example. It searches for real Instagram users, and the ones who interested in your photos follows you. And you get real and active followers, that what is “useful” mean.
Hi. I just started getting into the instagram scene earlier this year. I have tonnes of unfollowers usually spam and literally business/service based accounts = ppl i dont know.
However among these hundreds, three of them were my friends. And i literally hv no idea why. And among these 3, one friend who unlfollowed kinda bugged and bummed me out 🙁
Actually question is; should I unfollow bck as well?
* because ive never done unfollowing before. its not a thing, just i dont see the fuss. But yeah, this particular one bummed me out quite a bit. Shld i unfollow?
Tq for your insights 🙂
If you don’t find their posts interesting or valuable, then go ahead and unfollow and make room for the accounts that you do want to follow. Good luck, Irman! 🙂
How much days should i wait to post something so that i don’t post constantley. Like i wait about like 2 days or so.
It’s completely up to you as you know your audience and what they like better than anyone else. Most people will post multiple times throughout the day on their social media. Experiment with different schedules and see what works best. Good luck!
Good article, helps explain some confusing aspects around peoples’ propensities for following or unfollowing. I think if you like the contact you should follow and not worry if someone follows you back or not!
Great point! Thanks for your insight, Tim. 🙂
Long story short My crush ask to follow me 2 weeks ago and this morning I saw on my list she isn’t following me…I see this article and it help me a bit
I’m sorry to hear that happened but I believe that everything happens for a reason and that the right person, or people, will find you and “follow” you. 🙂
Boohoo…”oh I’m so upset, I’ve been unfollowed!” Please, I unfollow lots of my actual friends, because their Lib political opinions, that the feel they must share with everyone, reek of horse ####. I unfollow a lot of my friends so that I don’t hate them as people. I’m sure I’ve been unfollowed too. Who gives a flying ####? Social media friendships (like politics) are fleeting just as they are phony. The only thing I care about is how they conduct themselves face to face.
I love this! Thank you for putting it in a different perspective!
Yay! I’m so glad you liked the post. Thanks for letting me know. 🙂
They could also find it annoying that you message them a lot.
I’m so glad I read this post. I can look at my articles and refine my posts, so that it’s more relevant to my niche. I don’t need to take it so personal anymore.
Yay, I’m so happy to hear that, Roxanne 🙂 Definitely don’t take it personally! Be you and let yourself shine in who you are!
Some people play the ‘follow then unfollow’ game. Its pointless. They hope for a followback and if you don’t do it, they’ll unfollow. I’m more concerned with actual engagement than number of followers. I have lot of silent lurkers who followed me for over a year and never ever commented, only Liked. Only handful of people consistently comment. But I recently changed what I post on instagram, then the lurkers start unfollowing.
Yeah, it is easy to get caught up in the numbers and it’s very frustrating when people follow and then unfollow. Keep doing your thing though and posting quality content. The ones who stick around are the few who matter, anyway 🙂
I’m SO appreciative I found your site. I just found it yesterday and we’re already seeing changes! Thank you for everything you do!
Wow, this is awesome to hear, Torrey! 🙂
OMG. thanks so much for these. its a good thing i was searching and researching for answers why im losing soo much followers.
i asked my friends and they are experiencing it too. they say that it is because twitter is now limiting bulk tweets because of bots.
i was curious so i read about it to at http://tech360.asia/twitter-limits-bulk-tweets-eliminate-bots/