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Are You Having a Bad Day or a Bad Attitude?

Melyssa Griffin

3 min

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This is my digital home, where I share reflections, teachings, and offerings on self-expression, inner healing, ancient wisdom, and alignment as a pathway to a more meaningful and abundant life.

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rainy-day

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Growing up in Southern California, the harshest weather I ever had to deal with was a rainy day. Now, after living in Japan for a couple years, I have plenty of new climate conditions to tick off my list, including today’s typhoon. It wasn’t the first typhoon I’d experienced in Japan, but according to the news, it was the worst. My dog, Monja, is trained to do his dirty work outside, so even when we woke up to pounding winds and a torrential downpour this morning, we braved the storm so he could quickly do his business. Within minutes, my umbrella inverted into what looked more like a piece of modern art than a shield against rain. My wet hair was dancing all over my face and Monja was barking at the leaves that were flying across the ground. When we’d had enough, Monja and I looked at each other, and as soon as my eyes met his big derpy, tongue-hanging grin, we started running back to our apartment, him shaking his furry little butt and me laughing alongside one of my best friends.

Despite the hurricane-like weather conditions, I still had to trudge to work, ready to teach five classes of English to hoards of teenagers. However, when I arrived at school, I found that I was the only foreign teacher present and all of the Japanese teachers were surprised to see me. “The first four periods are all canceled, didn’t you hear?” Nope, no one told me. And as more foreign teachers began to trickle in, it was clear that none of them had gotten the memo, either. The Japanese teachers apologized profusely for the miscommunication, but really, it didn’t bother me. I answered some design emails and ate my banana, enjoying the unexpected time to relax and focus on my to-do list.

An hour later, the principal announced that she was canceling all classes for the day. When I heard this, I instinctively threw up my happy hands and let out a joyful “yay!” to the other teachers around me. A couple Japanese teachers looked at me and laughed. “Oops,” I thought, “maybe that was unprofessional.” But when one of them extended his hand to me and said, “wow, you’re so positive!” I realized they were laughing because my reaction was surprising more than anything else. I honestly didn’t get it. So “positive”? Isn’t everyone else happy that they get a paid day off? Aren’t they stoked that they get to go home 8 hours early? But when I looked around, I realized he was right — most teachers were in groups, complaining about the fact that they had to come to work at all. I heard blame being passed around like a basketball. I heard heaps of groans and rude comments and I eventually had to put in my headphones to drown out their whines. The girl whose desk is next to mine even started searching for new job listings on her computer. All I could do was laugh. Really?

I don’t think I am an all-around positive person every single second, but today I felt like this situation sparked a little epiphany in me.

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.”

(photo)

I realized that often the root of negativity, complaining, and poor attitudes, is because people tend to look at microscopic details instead of the big picture. I believe it stems from people harping too much on what happened, rather than appreciating the beauty of what is happening and the overwhelming potential of what can happen in the future. I also realized that some people have an incredible desire to put blame on others, even if the situation really was no one’s fault. 

Now, I know that everyone’s morning was different. I know that some of my co-workers were stuck on crowded, delayed trains for much longer than I was, and I know this is stressful and tiring. I know they’d probably rather be sleeping or eating breakfast at home or at the very least, watching the storm next to their family instead of here with 100 acquaintances.

But I also know that we shouldn’t let the first 2 hours of our day decide how we use the other 15.

I know that grumbling about things we can’t change with other co-workers is only going to make us feel worse. I know that being angry at a situation you can’t change, still doesn’t change it. And I know that more often than not, blaming someone won’t actually make you feel better, even if it really was their fault. 

I realized today that we have an overwhelming choice to either focus on the negative details or to see the beauty in the bigger picture. Both have the power to change your day, and perhaps even your life, but one will make it better and one will make it worse. So the next time you’re having a crappy day, ask yourself–am I really having a bad day or am I having a bad attitude?

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  1. I love that second quote so much and looking for new jobs online is just crazy I would have been whopping right along with you!

  2. Your post made me smile today as it’s so true. Okay, the weather’s bad and you went to school for basically nothing, but just great you could have the rest of the day off. My reaction would be exactly the same 🙂 And I can totally see you and Monja standing there in the typhoon 🙂 I would have stand laughing there too. Enjoy your unexpected day off!

  3. I love this positive post, I think a positive attitude is everything! I hope you had a wonderful day off yesterday and stayed dry! 🙂

  4. I have slowly been trying to change my instinctive reactions to be more positive. I especially love the first quote. You really do see someone’s true nature by how they react to situations and I want the reaction that your co-workers had “wow you’re so positive”. Day by day, reaction by reaction, I believe it’s a choice.
    Thanks for sharing.

    • Melyssa says:

      Love this comment, Katelyn! I believe it’s a choice too, and also a habit that becomes ingrained in you once you’ve made that positive choice enough! Kudos to you for trying to change your reactions! 🙂

  5. Agree with you 100%! Sometimes if your first reaction is to be a bit of a negative Nancy, it can take a bit of mind-training to really switch your point of view, but I’ve found that if I’m getting upset about a certain situation and think, “is this really all THAT bad? WHY am I getting so worked up?” it really helps.

    A little perspective goes a long way 🙂

  6. A little positivity can help you through even the worst days!

  7. Sarai says:

    Great post Mel, all I can say is p-r-e-a-c-h. People focus on the negative because it’s easy, it requires no energy from us, it’s our default mode. Actually shifting our attitudes, making that effort, and trying to look at the bright side takes effort and forces us to change our perspectives, and unfortunately that’s too much work for some people. It’s a shame because if they would make that effort they would be so much better off and in turn be a positive influence on others, like you were to your co-worker.

    • Melyssa says:

      YES I totally agree! It’s easy to be negative and gives us pleasure for a few seconds because it feels like complaining about something puts the power back in our hands, but in the end it really does the opposite and just makes us more unhappy! Love your analysis — thanks for sharing!

  8. chelsea says:

    ahhh shoot. do you ever read something and wonder if that person saw you today? because that was totally me. griping about things i can’t control but want to, getting frustrated over the small details. it’s something i am constantly trying to work on because you’re so right. even if one person has a positive attitude out of the bunch, it can make a world of difference. i want to be that person that people wonder why they’re so happy all the time, to be that positive light in an otherwise gloomy group. glad you fared the typhoon well friend : )

    • Melyssa says:

      YES I do feel like that sometimes! And then I get all insecure because I feel like they’re writing about me haha. But I’m surprised you have any troubles at all since you are such a positive, sweet little lady! We definitely ALL have off days though 🙂

  9. Pinja says:

    This is just a terrific post! I’ve actually had the crappiest few days at work but after reading this I realized maybe it has more to do with my crappy attitude than the days actually being that bad. I tend to blame everyone (and everything) but myself for my bad mood and now I’m sitting here going like “huh, maybe it’s my own fault after all.”

    Your example was perfect, too. If I had gone to work “for nothing” I probably would have been pissed off about it too, actually. But the thing is, your post made me realize that the next time something “bad” or inconvenient happens at work I’ll just have to try my hardest to have a different set of mind about it.

    so thank you Melyssa, for sharing this amazing post. Yet another thing to think about in my process of personal growth.

    • Melyssa says:

      AHH so glad you liked this, Pinja! I have to give myself a reality check sometimes too — especially when I feel like I’m having a bad week and then I realize I’m only GIVING myself a bad week because of my attitude. Thank you for sharing!

  10. Diane says:

    I really needed to read this today. I had a bad day yesterday from beginning to end. I ended up home on my couch crying to my roommate. I needed to get my emotions and stress out so I could move on. After that I picked myself back up and tackled today like yesterday didn’t happen – thanks for the positive vibes! And I love the quote that we shouldn’t let 2 hours influence our entire day!

    • Thank you Diane! I totally understand those days, but good for you for picking yourself up and going into the next day with a smile! 🙂

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  11. Steph says:

    This is sooo inspiring! What a great read to start my day.

    P.S. I miss Musings by Monja! Have you told him about the move back to the States? I hope he is just as excited as you are!

    • Thanks Steph! Glad you liked it 🙂 And Monja posted recently – did you see it? He is a little iffy about going back to the states, but I’ve convinced him there will still be plenty of cute dachsunds, so I think he’s coming to terms with it. 😉

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  12. Beth says:

    I loved this! I’d consider myself a very optimistic person but like everyone else, I have days when I’m just a grouch. I always feel bad for grumbling about dropping things and running into things, when I realize I probably do that all the time, just with a better attitude haha.

    • haha I know those days too well! I love that “running into things” is one of your bad day characteristics. It just sounds cute and kind of funny. 🙂

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  13. Helene says:

    so true! a lot of time its me whos making the situation worse because of my attitude! we could all use a little positivity!

  14. jackie says:

    love this. i’ve been having some work issues lately but there really is nothing i can change about it. and since i can’t change it, how i deal with it is important. our attitudes can make the situation better/worse. thanks for the reminder! 🙂 (oh and my one dog will absolutely not do his business in the rain. diva ha. )
    — jackie @ jade and oak

    • YES I totally agree — it’s our attitudes that make situations better or worse. What does your dog do when it’s raining? Monja seems to love the rain…crazy little guy!

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  15. Andrea says:

    Loved the post and your positive attitude! You’re right that a positive attitude first stems from ourselves, and our attitude (positive or negative) then bleeds to other people we are around/interact with!

    Hope you have a great day of typhoon with monja!

  16. victoria says:

    its funny you should post about this, because i spent all day yesterday VERY consciously trying to have a good outlook about all the little inconveniences and troubles i had all morning.

    and youre right, it makes a HUGE difference. normally id consider the whole day ruined after losing alices last good sippy cup at target, but instead i realized that maybe this means its time to stop babying her and work on using real cups. and we went on to have a great, albiet sippy-cup-less afternoon.

    • That’s AWESOME! I love that you made a conscious effort to be more positive about things. Doesn’t it totally help? It’s like, when we just CHOOSE to be optimistic about the crap we have to deal with, it makes it so much better. Thanks for sharing that story! 🙂

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  17. Rachel says:

    Oh man, a typhoon might very well test my patience! But I completely agree with this post. You make your own happiness. If you let something like a flat tire let you down, then you just let a flat tire beat your entire day. It’s your day, not the tire’s (or storm’s, or lost luggage’s). The second Maya Angelou quote is one that I have loved for years, and can definitely say is a big inspiration in my life philosophy. 🙂

    • YES! You are so right and I love the comparison you used. “It’s your day, not the tire’s.” Man, I want that tattooed on my face! If only whenever something bad happened to us, we could use that mantra, I think we’d all understand what’s important in life a little better. Thanks for sharing!

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  18. Kate says:

    I completely agree with you but I will unashamedly admit, I would’ve been with your co-workers who were complaining about coming it at all. But a few things in my life lately have made me start to want to change the way I view things like this and your post has come at just the right time!
    I do think it’s natural for someone to react the way they do to situations like this, but I also think it’s possible to change it with the right attitude. Which is something I am aiming to do, even if it’s just 50% of the time, it’s better than nothing!

  19. I just love Maya Angelou. This quote by her is one of my favorites.

  20. Amanda says:

    What a great post! Such a good reminder. You’re awesome.

  21. Tianna says:

    love this post ! So true. I’ve been trying to change my attitude about tough situations and it’s really difficult, but hard work pays off!

  22. Josie says:

    I love this post! It is so true that if we are having a bad day we need to change our attitude.

    Whenever I am having a bad day I try to let people know that I feel crappy and need space. I think it’s ok to have days like this, but it’s important to take ownership of your feelings and make good decisions accordingly.

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • YES! Love that you used the word “ownership.” It really is important, because otherwise we leak our negative energy onto other people, but if we can know ourselves well enough to understand that we’re just having “one of those days” then it makes all the difference! It’s like, we control the negative thoughts…they don’t control us. Thanks for sharing!

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  23. Manda says:

    Oh, I love this. So many times my bad day can be traced back to a sucky attitude. My ex-boyfriend was GREAT at calling me out on it: “Why are you in a bad mood? What’s there to be in a bad mood over?” Just that little reality check was enough to make me realize that I was being ridiculous over something that was only impacting the rest of my day because I had decided to give it that power.

    • Ahh that’s great! I think people have asked me that before and it makes me a little defensive at first, but it really IS nice to have someone who will call you out when you’re not focusing on what’s really important. 🙂

      p.s. I apologize for how late this comment is! My comment system was wonky the past couple weeks, so I’ve been scared to go near it. 😉

  24. Loved this post! I like to think that we all just have to remember to be positive and take things in stride 🙂

  25. this is such a great reality check! I had a situation similar to this a few years ago, except I was in New England and it was a blizzard. I have to admit I was one of the people complaining that I woke up and showered and drove through a blizzard to only be one of 4 people to come in to work that day, because my direct boss couldn’t be bothered to call or forward me the email that we were delayed. BUT once we were canceled I celebrated and went out for margaritas 🙂

  26. lauren says:

    This reminds me of a video I just watched about choosing your attitude towards life’s daily grind:

    http://www.upworthy.com/the-earth-shatteringly-amazing-speech-that-ll-change-the-way-you-think-about-adulthood-4?g=2

  27. Natalie says:

    Thank you for reminding me of these positive outlooks!

    x Nats ~ coraltintedperceptions.blogspot.com

  28. Andrea says:

    Hey Mel, a little late but I loved this post and wrote one that s inspired by it 😉 http://bit.ly/1drU7kG

  29. Erica says:

    Just read this now and I absolutely LOVE. So true, and so so relevant to all of our lives! It’s amazing what can change with your attitude…too much to not give it a try!

    lovelovelove,
    Erica
    cominguprosestheblog.com

  30. Lauren @ atipsygypsylife.com says:

    Love this, so true! Radiate positivity and you’ll live in a wonderful world.

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